Battle fatigue

I think I have battle fatigue.

Between dealing with Matthew, dealing with my own issues, and hearing about current events, I'm hitting a wall.  (I'm not even watching the news, but I can't get away from discussion of it; and I think that being totally ignorant of what's going on isn't helpful.)

I just texted my sister to tell my mother that her Mother's Day gift will be late.

I have a messy house and laundry to put away.

And I have not been sleeping well.

At least one study back in 2009 said that mothers of kids with autism had stress similar to that of combat soldiers.  I believe it.

It's a fight to get services for a child, and it's a daily fight to deal with behaviors, appointments, echolalia, etc. etc. etc.  We're also facing high school graduation and Matthew's transition into a new program (job skills training).

I have my own mental fighting that I do with past issues, such as bullying and spiritual abuse and everything that flows from that.  And I also have physical conditions that my body fights daily.

And I think I'm just exhausted from all of the fighting I have done in my life.

This weekend, Frank, Matthew, and I are going on a retreat with the high school seniors in Matthew's youth group.  I am hoping it will be a chance to get away from at least a little bit of stress.

This battle-fatigued warrior needs it.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

"But this isn't next week!"

In a skit on the old Bugs Bunny/Road Runner show, Daffy Duck complains to Bugs, "Wait a minute!  Last week you said that I was going to entertain next week!"

Bugs' reply:  "But this isn't next week."

I had good reason to remember that skit today.

This morning I got two proofing requests from the court reporting firm I work for.  One was to proof a rush job due by 5 p.m. today.  The other was a longer one due tomorrow.

I had an appointment with the chiropractor today, so I figured I could do them both when I got back.

I live in Gwinnett County, which is northeast of the city of Atlanta.  To get to the chiropractor's, I needed to take I-285 over to Cobb County, which is northwest of the city of Atlanta.  It's usually a little over a half hour to get there.  Well, remember that, since I-85 is still being repaired, we are driving under abnormal conditions.  So it took me about an hour, and that was with my Waze app giving me alternate routes around traffic backups.

My chiro's office is very efficient, and I was in and out within about a half hour.  

It took me over an hour to get home, not only because of abnormal traffic on 285, but because of an accident which put 285 in gridlock.  Waze once again performed admirably and gave me a route around that accident.

Along with several hundred other drivers.

After negotiating 285, I-85 north of the Perimeter, picking up a library book and a prescription, I got home, had lunch, and then turned on my computer.

Mayhem ensued.

I could not get to my email box.  My email servers have been having consistent problems for several weeks. After several frustrating minutes, I finally decided to restart my computer.

Which gave me the screen with the dreaded words, "Getting Windows ready.  Do not turn off your computer."

I waited, waited, waited, then decided to throw a load of wash in the washer.  Came back to my computer, it's still telling me not to turn it off.

And finally, I said, the heck with it, disobeyed the command of the almighty Windows, and turned off the computer.

Fortunately, when I turned it back on, lightning did not strike.

While waiting for the computer to reconnect to the Internet, I tried getting the files I needed through my iPad.  I can play an mp3 file on my iPad, and I can also read Word files on my iPad.  When I proof, I listen to an audio recording to see if the transcript matches up with the audio recording.  (I proof legal depositions.)  I have yet to figure out if I can listen to a recording and edit on the iPad at the same time, and what was even worse, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the recording in the iPad.  

Finally, I was able to download the files I needed from the people I work for.  But while trying to open up the audio files, I accidentally turned on iTunes instead of the transcription program I use.  And no matter how many times I clicked, iTunes would not turn off.  And, the dreaded blue spinning circle that Windows users are familiar with just kept spinning around and around and around.

So, I turned the computer back off.  

Then back on.

After nearly an hour, I finally got files downloaded and the rush file proofed and sent off to my boss.

Between finishing the rush file and beginning the non-rush file, I sent off an email to my BFF, detailing my tale of woe so far that day.  In addition to having another file to proof, I:

• still had dinner to make
• had church tonight
• had praise team practice after church (praise team is the small singing group that performs each Sunday; the same people do not sing every week, different people are placed on the schedule each month)
• a retreat this weekend with my son's youth group
• an appointment tomorrow
• Weight Watchers on Friday
• Laundry to do
• Senior Honors Night this coming Sunday, where our youth group's graduating seniors are honored (and my son is included this year)
• And I had to sing on the praise team this Sunday.

So what does all of this have to do with it not being next week?

When my husband came home from work, I told him everything that I'd done that day.  

And then, I looked at the calendar on the wall in the kitchen.  

Twice.

Then got my iPad and compared my Google calendar with the wall calendar.

You know the praise team practice I put down?

That practice I had to attend because I was going to sing on Sunday?

That practice wasn't this week.

That practice was NEXT week.

Which also means I don't sing this Sunday.

We sing NEXT Sunday.

On my husband's recommendation, I skipped church tonight and finished proofing my pages (which were due tomorrow morning.)  My pages were emailed just a few minutes ago.

The moral of this story?  

If there is one?

Always check your schedule before you complain about everything you have to do.

Because it could very easily be that the stuff you have to do this week . . . you don't have to do until next week!

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Because of a staple, the tire was lost . . .

Yesterday and today have been like the poem, "For want of a nail, the shoe was lost . . ."

My husband and I came out to the car after church to discover that one of our tires was flat.  My husband changed the tire and put on the spare.  When he went to find a place to get the tire fixed, he could not find one.  Either the shop was closed on Sunday or the shop was open but unable to fix the tire right away.

Since we're a one-car family, that one event set off the domino effect:

• We couldn't go to our church small group last night.
• My husband took the day off work to take the tire to get fixed (he offered and I accepted the offer)
• I ended up changing a doctor's appointment I had scheduled for today.

When my husband came back from getting the tire fixed, he told me that the reason we got the flat tire was due to a . . . large staple we'd run over.  

I don't know where we picked up that staple, but because of that staple, a tire was lost, because the tire was lost, meeting with small group was lost, a doctor's appointment was lost, and a small amount of money was lost.  

And all because of a staple.

I'm sure there's a larger moral to this story somewhere.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Proud aunt brag

She's probably the first person I loved before they were even born.  Now my niece is 21 and today, she graduates with her degree in behavioral sciences.  

She looks like her mom (which means she's beautiful).

For her first four years, she was mostly raised by her mom and her Nana (my mother).  She also spent a lot of time with her great-grandmother.  

When she was four, her mom--my sister--got married again.  And I think it's a tribute to her stepfather that my niece asked him, could you adopt me?  It's also a tribute to him that he did. 

She's been enjoying her college years with her friends, loves her Gamma Phi Beta sisters, and has decided to pursue a career in psychology.  For right now, she'll be doing graduate studies to thoroughly prepare for her profession.

Enjoy your day today.  Your present is in the mail. 

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

 

Current events fatigue

I had a bad day yesterday.  I had a fatigue spell brought on by a poor night's sleep and I spent the day resting, in front of the computer, and also in front of the TV.

Although I don't watch a great deal of news these days, I see it discussed on social media and there's no way I can really get away from it.  Yesterday the big discussion was of the health care bill passed by the GOP.

From the reaction on social media, I almost thought that I should be planning my funeral, since the bill apparently guarantees the death of all Americans due to lack of health care. (sarcasm mode on.)

I've hit the wall where it comes to things that I "should" care about.  A friend of mine said yesterday that when everything is life or death, nothing is life or death.  Being bombarded with everything that I "should" care about is leaving me apathetic and caring about nothing.

I need to be selective about the things I care about, and if that means that I don't care about things that people think I "should" care about, well . . . so be it!

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Oh, those fandoms!

(Note:  This piece does contain spoilers for Chicago Med, Chicago PD, This Is Us, and Scorpion.  Read at your own risk.)

I'm trying to count how many "fandoms" I'm part of.  For the uninitiated, a "fandom" is a grouping of fans of a particular TV show, movie, book series, etc.

"Fan" can also stand for "fanatic", and in the case of certain fandoms, "fanatic" is appropriate.

I'm a Whovian, a fan of the show Doctor Who.  When a new doctor arrives or a new companion is announced, inevitably, there are the shrieks of, "This show is ruined forever!!"

When Peter Capaldi was announced as the new doctor, cries of outrage sounded around the fandom.  "Him?  He's too old!  Doctor Who is ruined forever!"

But Capaldi, in my opinion, has turned out to be a good doctor, and several of the episodes of his run do make you think.

And the companions . . . oh, don't get the fandom started.

"Rose!  I loved her!" "Hated her!" "Clara was wonderful!""She was a disaster!"

The latest companion, Bill, is a pleasant surprise.  She's been called a "refreshing change" from recent companions.

I'm also a "sestra", the name of the Orphan Black fandom.  This BBC series follows a group of women who discover that they are clones of each other.  All of them are played by Tatiana Maslany, and she does it so well that you forget it's the same actress playing each person.

"I love Sarah!" "No, Cosima!" "Don't forget Helena!"

My best friend is a member of the Bones fandom.  I don't follow Bones very much, although I did turn in for the last episode, which showed Bones and Booth walking off into the night together.  During the series, when Booth was involved with another woman, that "other woman" was universally hated by Bones fans--to the point of several fanfics killing off that character!

My son turned me on to the Chicago franchise (Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, Chicago Med.) When #Linstead--Erin Lindsey and Jay Halstead--finally got together, the fandom cheered . . . and then, recently, suffered heartbreak when Jay discovered he was still legally married to someone he thought he was divorced from.  Now, #Linstead is separated.

And, over on Chicago Med, another Halstead--Dr. Will, Jay's brother--has an interest in Dr. Natalie Manning (#Manstead) . . . and when he's finally expressed himself, she just says they're good friends . . . and Jay Halstead has been hanging around the hospital lately . . . and in a recent episode, he and Natalie went to a hockey game together . . . so, #manstead may happen, but it will be at the risk of alienating a large segment of fans!

After three seasons, fans of Scorpion finally have #Waige (Walter and Paige) together . . . just in time for the plane they're on to crash, with the entire Scorpion team aboard.

And probably, the biggest howls from the fandoms I follow came from fans of the show This Is Us.  Over the first season, the story of the Pearson family has been slowly unfolding.  We've learned of the past of the "Big Three" (the Pearson triplets), have followed them into their present relationships, and we've wondered how, when Rebecca and Jack had such a wonderful love story, why did she marry his best friend after he died?

And THE biggest question, which led to THE biggest howl of the TV season:

"Why didn't the season finale tell us how Jack died???"

Never, in the history of TV or of fandoms, has there been such disappointment over a character NOT dying.

Each member of each fandom has their own opinion about how a show should go down, and woe be unto the creators, writers, and producers if any member is crossed!

The season finales of several shows are coming up.  I strongly suggest that you get earplugs and HAZMAT outfits to protect yourselves from the howls and the mudslinging of the various fandoms when season finales do not go the way each fandom member thinks they should.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

It's not fair!

It's not fair that I have a child with autism!
"It's not fair that your child with autism is high-functioning and rather independent."

It's not fair that we don't have two cars!
"It's not fair that we don't have a car at all."

It's not fair that my husband has to take the bus to get to work!
"It's not fair that you live close enough to walk to a bus stop."

It's not fair that this place gets so hot in summer!
"It's not fair that you have air conditioning to keep you cool."

It's not fair that we argue so much over politics!
"It's not fair that you can vote for your leaders and that your president can only stay in power for eight years."

It's not fair that I have so many physical problems!
"It's not fair that you can get to the doctor within 24-48 hours in most cases."

It's not fair?

I guess "fairness" depends on your perspective.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.