So, is your toaster listening?

Last night, I got asked if I had a history of schizophrenia or if I'd been hearing voices where I shouldn't be.

After I finished chuckling, I responded with, no, no history there. 

I wrote this blog entry some time back about hearing what I thought was a radio station through my CPAP.  It's just barely loud enough for me to make out something.  I don't know if this is an audio version of a TV test pattern; what I hear is a voice saying/singing "W-A-Y-B, W-C-K-G, W-O-I-C, W-O-I-hear, W-O-I-smell, W-O-I-taste, W-O-I-touch," and then back to, "W-A-Y-B . . ." 

The person who asked me about hearing voices explained that they were in the mental health field and often had to ask that question.  They then said, it's hard to tell people that your toaster isn't listening to you without them getting offended.

I understood. 

It then occurred to me that in this day and age of Alexa and Google Home, there could actually come a day when your toaster could very well BE listening to you!  I can just see it now:  "Alexa, make my toast."  "Unthaw my bread."  "Unthaw my waffle."  (Alexa's response after that last job is done:  "Hey!  Leggo my Eggo!")

(Note:  I don't intend to make fun of people who do have schizophrenia or other mental illness.  Mental illness is no laughing matter.  I deal with depression and OCD, and neither of them are funny.  I do, however, use humor to deal with both conditions.)

So, it's back to doing a little bit of research on how, if at all, a CPAP can pick up voices or radio waves. 

In the meantime, I'll keep an eye--er, ear out for any signs that my toaster is listening.

And if the day the comes when I need to replace the toaster and it says, "I'm sorry, Tina, I can't let you do that," I will know my goose is cooked--er, toasted.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

I heard it through the CPAP . . .

(This is probably THE most bizarre blog entry I have ever written.  Maybe it will serve as a distraction in these days leading up to the election.)

I just turned 53.  Those of you that are of my generation probably remember the Partridge Family, a series about the comedic adventures of a singing family.  In one episode, Laurie, the second-oldest child and oldest daughter, gets braces . . . and during rehearsals, the metal in her mouth starts picking up signals from her boyfriend's transistor radio.

I'm having the same experience with my CPAP.

I have sleep apnea, and for the past several years, I've been sleeping with a CPAP mask.  In fact, I'm so used to it that when I recently tried to sleep without it for a night, I couldn't do it.

But also, for the past several years, I've been hearing noises through my CPAP that I'm convinced are from a radio station.  I just can't figure out which one.

It started when I was hearing, "It's the radio show / WAYB / WAYB / it's the radio show," sung to the tune of the song, "Turn the Radio On".  It sounded like a jingle for a broadcast segment.

Before you ask, yes, I have searched on the Internet, and yes, I did find a WAYB, 95.7 FM, in Graysville, TN.  I live in Atlanta, about 150 miles away.  It's possible that my CPAP could be picking up the signals from this station.  However, this WAYB doesn't broadcast on the Internet, so I can't compare what I'm hearing on my CPAP with the radio station.

But more recently, I haven't been hearing the jingle.  Instead, I've been hearing letters and odd sentences coming through my CPAP.

I hear someone saying the letters, "W-A-Y-A, W-A-Y-C, W-A-Y-D, W-A-Y-E . . ." and on. Sometimes they start at the end of the alphabet, "W-A-Y-Z, W-A-Y-Y, W-A-Y-X, W-A-Y-V . . ." and so on.

Within the last couple of weeks, I've started to hear, "W-A-Y-B, W-C-K-G." Or, possibly, W-Z-K-G, or W-C-K-Z, or something similar sounding . . .  and then, W-O-I-See, W-O-I-Hear, W-O-I-Smell, W-O-I-Taste.

I don't know what I am hearing.  I don't know if it's a station identification, or someone just playing games, or what.

So tell me, am I legitimately hearing something through my CPAP?

Or am I, like Marvin Gaye sang in the song, just about to lose my mind, honey, honey?

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.