Thursday, April 21, 2016

Flipping the "off" switch . . .

Last week I posted a frustrated vent on my Facebook wall.  I think the final trigger was when my right jaw joint started to dislocate, again.  I am back to wearing the mouth guard I paid uber, uber bucks for (and am still paying off the credit card for.)

I'm fed up with everything.  There's a switch in my brain that has flipped and it just says, "no more."  I can turn off news (like a relative of mine has been telling me to do for years), turn off social media, and there's stuff I *still* have to deal within society. 
I'm afraid to post certain things on social media, or on my blogg, because I am afraid of being ganged up on and bashed.  The bashers and the gangsters have all the power and the resources, and I have none.  If I get sued because of something I do or say, I will be bankrupted if I choose to fight.
I can't filter stuff off my Facebook anymore because the filter I was using contained a Trojan, so I had to delete it. SocialFixer, another Facebook filter I was using, doesn't work anymore either.
I feel as if I have to have an instant answer for everything. I have to instantly defend my beliefs. And debate isn't my gift. So I wind up putting myself in a Christian bubble . . . and then I feel guilty about that, too.
And if I don't contribute the five dollars, or the 30 minutes, or the one phone call, towards the people or causes I believe in, I will be responsible for their failure, because if I don't do it, who will? (My point being, it's just the little bit that might make the difference.)
And if I don't support the causes of others (especially when it comes to autism), how can I expect anyone to support mine? I can't just demand and not give anything back. (Right now I'm doing my version of asking for help with this post; I honestly feel like I take more than I give on Facebook or social media.)
I feel outnumbered and powerless, like nothing I can do will make any sort of difference.
There's a verse in Proverbs that says that if you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength. Well, this is a time of trouble, and I'm faltering, so my strength must be very small.  
Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.