Day 11 of prayer

Dear God,

I Corinthians 13:4 tells us that "love is patient".

Donald Trump probably knows "love" as a way to manipulate and to be manipulated.  Please help him to know that true love only comes from you.

True love is patient.  True love knows the value of waiting, and waiting calmly, instead of demanding what they want, right now.  True love knows that people are not perfect, and that they will make mistakes.  True love does not demand that people live up to an image.

Please give Donald Trump the patience that only can come from you.  Please transform his hear with that patience.

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Day 10 of prayer

Dear God,

You say in Matthew 5:10 that those who are persecuted because of righteousness are blessed, because theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Donald Trump has claimed persecution because of his beliefs and his actions as President.  I don't know if he has ever been persecuted because of righteousness before.

Please help him to understand that those who disagree with his beliefs or his actions may not be guilty of persecution.

Please help him to understand and perceive what true persecution because of righteousness is.

Help him to find true righteousness.

If he is persecuted, may it be because of true righteousness.

Where he is persecuted due to true righteousness, please be his defender.

If he is simply being disagreed with, give him the wisdom to see that disagreement is not always persecution.

And please help him desire not the kingdom that is on earth, but the one that is in heaven, for those persecuted for the sake of righteousness will inherit it.

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 9 of prayer

Dear God,

Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

In Donald Trump's world, peace is a foreign concept.  Peace is usually achieved by getting the upper hand and using trickery to do so.

Please help Donald Trump to learn what a true peacemaker is.  Help him to learn that peace--true peace--is a fruit of your Holy Spirit.  Help him to search for you and your peace so that he can be a child of yours.

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 8 of prayer

Dear God,

Matthew 5:8 says that the pure in heart are blessed, for they will see God.

I don't know how "pure in heart" Donald Trump is.  He may not be pure in heart at all.  The world he grew up in and the circles he's been involved in over his life are not conducive to someone being pure in heart.  In fact, they are more conducive to being deceitful.  Deceit and trickery are much more common in his world and among his cohorts.

Help Donald Trump to desire purity of heart.  Bring people to him that will kindle in him a desire for a pure heart.  Show him that there is another way to live, a way that promises him that he will see you.

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 7 of prayer

Dear God,

Matthew 7:7 says that those who are merciful are blessed, because they will be shown mercy.

Please help Donald Trump learn what mercy is.
Please help him to learn to show that mercy to other people.
In the world he is from, and the world he now inhabits, mercy is seen as an act of weakness and of weak people, and it is meant to be exploited and used against people.
You, God, believe in showing mercy and ask us to be merciful.
Please help Donald Trump to do the same.

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 6 of prayer

Dear God,

Matthew 5:6 tells us that those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be blessed, because they will be filled.

Please give Donald Trump a hunger and thirst for righteousness--not just for "being right" in the positions he holds, but a hunger and a thirst for being right before God; being humble before God and having a desire to know what God wants him to do. 

Help him to realize that when he does this, God will fill him. 

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 5 of prayer

Dear God,

Matthew 5:5 tells us that it is the meek that are blessed, for they will inherit the earth.

It is not those who have power and wield it who will inherit the earth.  Rather, it is the humble and gentle, those who understand that those who recognize their poverty before God, those that mourn over their sin and shortcomings and who turn to God for their comfort, who realize that they are nothing with God, who will inherit the earth.

Give Donald Trump humility and gentleness.  He is in a position where power is worshiped, where power is wielded like a club.  He knows well how to play the games of power.

Please work in his heart to give him humility and meekness.  Help him to realize that, even though "meek" may rhyme with "weak", meekness is not weakness.  Meekness does not mean being a doormat.  Rather, it is realizing that in and of yourself, you do not have what you need to conquer sin and to live righteously.

Please work in Donald Trump's life to give him meekness.

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 4 of prayer

Dear God,

Matthew 5:4 says that those who mourn are blessed, for they will be comforted.

Help Donald Trump to truly mourn -- over his own sins and over the state the country is in right now.

I don't ask that he merely wail and complain.  I ask that he mourn, that he feel deep grief and sorrow that will motivate him to wise action. 

Help him to realize that as he does this, you will give him the comfort he needs, whether it be from other people or supernaturally from you.

I ask this in the name of Jesus  Amen.

Just my. 04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 3 of prayer

Dear God,

In Matthew 5:3, at the beginning of the Beatitudes, you told your disciples that the one who is poor in spirit is blessed. 

Please help Donald Trump recognize his poverty of spirit apart from you. 

Please help him see that it is those who are poor in spirit, who recognize their need, that are truly blessed.

Help him to desire the kingdom of heaven and not the kingdom of this world.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Day 2 of prayer

Dear God,

In 1 Kings 3, you appeared to King Solomon in a dream and told him, ask me for anything and I will give it to you.

Solomon asked for wisdom.

Please give Donald Trump the heart to ask for wisdom from you.  He desperately needs it because he leads our country and what he decides will have consequences that echo down through generations.

James 1:5 says that if anyone lacks wisdom, they should ask God, who gives freely without finding fault, and it will be given to them.

Please help Donald Trump realize this verse and ask you for wisdom.

In 2 Samuel 12, the prophet Nathan came to King David and confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba.

I don't know, dear God, if Donald Trump has a Nathan in his life, one who will tell him the truth without flinching.  If Trump does not, please send him one.  If Trump has a Nathan, please give that Nathan the courage to tell Trump the truth and please give Donald Trump the heart to listen to him.

If a decision Trump has made is a good decision, and he knows it, help him not to back down in spite of any opposition.

If a decision Trump has made is a poor decision, please give him the wisdom to admit it and to say that he was wrong.

Please also give him not only one Nathan, but many Nathans who will tell him the truth.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Repenting of hate

On Facebook, I have a web page where I post my musings about current events.

Last Friday, I posted that I hated Donald Trump.

I was wrong.

Although it's not a sin to examine his policies and actions and point out where you think he's wrong and where you think he's making serious mistakes  . . . it is a sin to hate the man.  One can critique actions and point out sin without falling into the trap of hate.  Or, like a friend of mine said, going down the road of hate.

I'm very angry and very frustrated about certain current events, and I dislike how some are using those events to divide us further and stir up discord.  The Bible has very harsh words for people who store up discord among people.  (See Proverbs 6:19, among others.).

The Bible is also very clear that we are to love one another (John 13:34-35.). I believe that includes Donald Trump as well.  The parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10 follows Jesus' declaration that all the law and the prophets hang on the commands to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. When Jesus was asked, "Who is my neighbor?" Jesus responded with a story about a man who was of a group despised by the Jews that did good to a Jew.

Paul, in I Timothy 2, tells Timothy that prayers and petitions should be made for those in authority. The main person in authority at that time was the Roman emperor, a man considered Lord and, at the least, not a friend to Christians. 

So for the next 30 days, I am gonig to do just that. 

I'm going to post a prayer a day for Donald Trump. 

Would you like to join me?  If you would, I'd love your company. 

Today's prayer:

Dear God:

I was wrong when I said I hated Donald Trump.  I do not want to go down the road of hate.  I am sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness.

Today I pray for the protection of Donald Trump, his wife Melania, their son Barron, and Donald Trump's other children, Donald Jr., Ivanka, Eric, and Tiffany.  May those who seek to do them harm be stopped.  May those who protect them be alert at all times to keep them safe.  May President Trump and his family cooperate with those who protect them.  Help President Trump and his family to also be alert to those who wish to harm them without being paranoid and overly suspicious. 

I ask this in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation. 

The illness that may kill

I don't know when I first formulated the thought, "I want to die," but I've had that thought more often than I'd like to admit.

In fact, I had that thought a week ago this past Tuesday, on May 29th.

I felt horrible.  I went about my daily activities, dropped my son off at Bible study, and then drove down to the library down the street and wrote in my journal about how bad I felt and how tempting it was to die.  If someone were to pick up my journal and read that entry, they can be forgiven for believing that I acted on those feelings.

Obviously, I didn't act on it.  I wrote about it, then picked up Matthew and went home. 

I have an illness called depression.  I've had it for many years.  I suspect I may have had it since I was a teenager.  There's many circumstances in my life that I think brought it on; dealing with bullies, dealing with spiritual abuse, dealing with health problems, dealing with autism.  Any one of those would be enough to bring on depression; all of those are enough to overwhelm anyone.  I see a counselor regularly and I told her yesterday that given all I'm dealing with, I'm surprised I'm not more screwed up than I am. :-)  (I also take meds regularly.)

I also suspect that some of my depressive feelings may come from my hormones.  I use a hormone cream and a hormone patch and change them every Tuesday and Saturday.  The Tuesday I felt so horrible, I went home, changed the patch, used the cream, and went to bed.  The next morning, I woke up and felt much better.  I'm due for a meds check soon, and this is a question I plan to ask my GYN, about a link between depression and hormones.

Two of my reasons for living are named Matthew and Frank.  Thinking about them keeps me reasonably sane.  And I have people who would miss me if I were gone. 

I'm thinking about all of this in the wake of two celebrity suicides this week, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. 

Kate Spade was a famous designer, known for handbags and other things.  Anthony Bourdain was a chef with a show on CNN who traveled the world.  People loved what they produced.  People wanted to be them.  How ironic that, apparently, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain didn't even want to be.
Did they have depressive illness, as I and millions of other Americans do?  And if they did, did they somehow feel that they couldn't say, "I am depressed," "I have depression"?  Did they fear that, if they expressed that feeling, they'd just hear, "Why are you depressed?  You're wealthy.  People love you.  You have everything to live for!" 

Logic and rationality don't always work on someone who has depression.  Sometimes the illness is all-consuming.  It is chronic and debilitating for millions of people.  Meds keep it at bay, coping skills keep it at bay.  But sometimes, sometimes, the meds, the coping skills, the need others have for you . . . it just may not be enough. 

Depression is a fatal illness in some cases.  It is an illness that kills.

I don't necessarily subscribe to the belief that "suicide is a sin" and that people who kill themselves automatically go to hell.  I believe God is gracious enough to understand that at times, people do do it in a moment of weakness.  People often do it when they see no way out, when the circumstances and problems just seem insurmountable.  It looks and sounds easy.  Usually, my thoughts of "I want to die" aren't "I want to die."  They are, "I want out.  Life is hard and I'm tired.  I want out."  Realizing this gives me strength to keep on going.  And writing this, I realize that those signals might also be saying, you're trying to do too much.  Take a break and cut yourself a little slack.

For those of you who are Christians, even faith isn't enough at times to keep suicide or suicidal thoughts at bay.  Nearly nine years ago, a member of our youth group killed herself.  My own preacher has shared in a few sermons about his struggle with depression.  A close friend of mine, who is also a Christian, deals with depression and is on medication for it.

(Some time back, a person on a Facebook group I'm part of asserted that faith in Christ would heal depression.  When I pointed out that I was a Christian, and I still struggled with depression and even took meds for it, I was told, "Then you're not a Christian."  For the love of all things holy, please do not do this to people.  Please.  I believe God can heal and sometimes He does do so miraculously.  But most of the time, He chooses to heal through people with medical skill and with drugs that those people know how to use properly.  People of faith already feel shamed enough by having depression in the first place.  They do not need to be shamed by other people of faith.  To the person that told me I wasn't a Christian, I said, I find it interesting that you can judge my relationship with Christ from one post.)

Today, my Facebook feed is flooded with articles on suicide, how to tell if someone might be suicidal, where to get help if you or someone you love is suicidal. 

One thing to keep in mind is that the depression that can lead to suicide is an illness, an illness that can kill, and that like any illness, it needs to be treated.  Maybe by meds, maybe by some changes in circumstances, maybe by learning some good coping skills, maybe by a combination of things. 

The Kate Spades, the Anthony Bourdains, the Tina Sewards of this world deal with this illness.  For Kate and Anthony, they've left behind the legacy of what happens when this illness kills. 

For the rest of the Kates, the Anthonys, and Tinas, let's leave behind a legacy of what can happen when we seek help. 

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Rawness, passion, and terror

(This is a somewhat rewritten version of a post I originally wrote back in January.  I'm revisiting this subject because today is the 50th anniversary of Bobby Kennedy's shooting.)

This man is your man

This man is our man
From California
To the New York island
From the redwood forests
To the Gulf Stream waters
This man is Robert Kennedy.

You can hear the raw passion in their voices on this audio, recorded on the night of  June 5, 1968.  (The audio is from the Pacifica Radio Archives and is posted on David Von Pein's YouTube channel.  DVP has hundreds of hours of JFK and RFK-era video and audio posted; I recommend him highly.)

They are exuberant and idealistic.

Their man, Robert Kennedy, is ahead in the California primary, a "winner-take-all" state as far as delegates are concerned.  Later, ABC newscaster Frank Reynolds would comment, there's nothing like an election night when everything is going your way.

The audio goes from singing to the chant of, "Sock it to 'em, Bobby!"

Eight minutes and thirty-one seconds into the audio, their hero enters to an ovation of shouting and the rousing cheers of, "We want Kennedy!  We want Kennedy!"

The first person he mentions is Don Drysdale, the Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher who'd pitched his sixth straight shutout that evening; Kennedy hoped they'd have as good fortune in their campaign.

He ran through a list of people he wanted to thank, including his dog, Freckles . . . and right afterwards -- after explaining that it wasn't in order of important -- his wife, Ethel.

At one point, while thanking the people who worked on the campaign, a young woman's voice yells back, "It was worth it!"

Tapping into the frustration people felt over rising violence and the war in Vietnam, he stressed that people wanted a change.  (Forty years later, another candidate would tap into similar frustration within the United States.)  

He finished his speech declaring that yes, Americans could work together; that we were a great country, an unselfish country, a compassionate country.

The speech ends with the triumphant words, "and now it's on to Chicago and let's win there."  Then, with a thumbs-up to the crowd and a flash of the two-fingered peace sign, he turns away from the podium while the crowd chants, "We want Bobby!"

Less than five minutes later, the screaming starts.

It's not the ovation the crowd gave a victorious candidate.  Rather, it's the screams of terror, panic, and confusion.

A second audio recording, of Andrew West from the Mutual Broadcasting System, also captures the moment:  "Senator Kennedy has been shot, is that possible?" "He still has the gun, the gun is pointed at me right at this moment," "Get the gun, Rafer . . . get his thumb, break it if you have to!"

And of the video coverage from the three major networks, perhaps two clips best illustrate the raw confusion:  1.  A bewildered Terry Drinkwater, CBS reporter, trying to figure out what had just happened (around 15:31 on the clip), and 2. the NBC coverage, about 40 seconds into the tape, showing one of Sirhan Sirhan's shooting victims being carried out of the Ambassador Hotel kitchen.  The NBC reporter speaking insists -- incorrectly -- that Stephen Smith, Robert Kennedy's brother-in-law, had also been shot.

In the first 24 minutes of the CBS video, there were no fewer than 28 pleas for a doctor and no fewer than 36 pleas, requests, and orders to "please clear the room", leave the room, or variations thereof.

These were the moments when panic took over, when terror took over and the raw jubilation of only a few minutes ago turned with fierce suddenness to raw fear.

John Kennedy's assassination also showed how quickly events can turn.  He'd received a warm welcome in Dallas, Texas only to be gunned down by an assassin who took six seconds to fire three shots.  (Oswald acted alone.  Deal with it.)  We saw the panic and terror of the crowds only after the film was developed; we heard the confusion as technicians in master control frantically flipped switches and yelled instructions into headsets offstage.

Five years later, broadcast technology developed to the point where we could see the raw panic, terror and confusion the moment it started happening.

This is life, at it rawest, unedited and unscripted, but captured on film and on audio.

And while the men in the anchor chairs -- Walter Cronkite, Frank Reynolds, Howard K. Smith, Frank McGee, and others -- may have been more polished in their delivery, you can catch their controlled, barely suppressed anger over the event; specifically, the failure of the Congress to pass gun control.

Twenty-six hours later, at 1:44 a.m., Pacific Daylight Time, Robert F. Kennedy died.  About 15 minutes later, his press secretary, Frank Mankiewicz, stepped up to a microphone and made the terse announcement of Kennedy's death.

Perhaps this was the moment that hope in our political system really began to fray, wither, and die. 

Jack Newfield, in his 1969 book Robert Kennedy: A Memoir, ends his book with these words:

Now I realized what makes our generation unique, what defines us apart from those who came before the hopeful winter of 1961, and those who came after the murderous spring of 1968.  We are the first generation that learned from experience, in our innocent twenties, that things were not really getting better, that we shall not overcome.  We felt, by the time we reached thirty, that we had already glimpsed the most compassionate leaders our nation could produce, and they had all been assassinated.  And from this time forward, things would get worse:  our best political leaders were part of memory now, not hope.  

The stone was at the bottom of the hill and we were alone.

Fifty years later, how much has really changed?  Has the raw passion and terror heard and seen that night in the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles morphed into a fatalistic depression about the future?

When Henry Jackson, U.S. Senator from Washington (who later ran for President in 1976), learned of Kennedy's shooting, stated, "The world has gone mad."

The world went mad in the early morning of June 5, 1968, there in the kitchen of the Ambassador Hotel, and fifty years later -- fifty years of violence, of mass shootings, of the murder of school children, fifty years of anger and hate later -- we have yet to regain any semblance of sanity.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.