I am 60. And I am tired.

 I celebrated my 60th birthday on the 16th with a long list of happy birthday wishes from people I know in person and people I also know online. 

I spent a portion of that birthday shoehorned into a Frontier Airlines jet flying from NYC to Atlanta; after riding a shuttle around LaGuardia Airport; after getting on the wrong bus at the New York Port Authority (we needed Terminal A, that one went only to B and C.) We spent the previous week enjoying both Boston and NYC because the 9th of October was our 30th anniversary. (I spent that day walking the Freedom Trail and by the time I was done, my feet were ready to stage their own “shot heard round the world”.) 

There are some good blog entries that I can get out of that particular week spent up North. 

But the day we left, October 7th, was the day everything blew up in Israel.

And on October 25th, 18 people died in Lewiston, Maine; which, according to the Gun Violence Archive, was the 565th mass shooting this year. (GVA’s criteria for “mass shooting” is four or more people shot or killed in a single incident, not including the shooter. Their website is www.gunviolencearchive.org.) 

I am 60.

And I am tired. 

I’m not the only one who’s tired.

First responders are tired. ER workers are tired. Civilians caught in the crossfire of either war or shooting are tired. Clergy are tired. Mental health professionals are tired. Survivors, and the families of those who died or survived a shooting, are tired.  

I’m sure I’ve left out groups of people who are tired. 

This week, I told a Jewish doctor to be careful. In Atlanta. In the USA. 

While my husband and I were in NYC, we saw several people dressed as Orthodox or Hasidic Jews on the street. I saw two pictures of young children who had been taken into Gaza as hostages. While heading for a subway, a young woman wearing a sash saying “Palestine” hurried past us in the other direction. 

On October 25th, at NYC’s Cooper Union, a private college, Jewish students were locked in the library for their own safety while pro-Hamas demonstrators pounded on the door. 

A CNN article I read today talked about the line teachers are having to walk when the war comes up in class. (As if “active shooter drills” are not traumatizing enough.) 

I have well-meaning people tell me to stop listening to the news, and you’ll be a lot happier. Okay, they probably have a point. While I did have CNN running yesterday and the day before due to the Maine shooting, I get most of my news from news blurbs on my phone.  And the more sensational the story, the more likely it will get news coverage. I am not in front of the TV or listening to news/talk all day long. 

But for me, ignoring the news is akin to sticking my head in the sand and hoping everything will magically go away. And it won’t. 

We’ve also just come off an embarrassing three-week political spectacle in the House of Representatives where nothing could be accomplished because there was no Speaker. Finally, Mike Johnson, representative from Louisiana, was voted in. Johnson, according to an Associated Press article, helped file a brief in a lawsuit trying to overturn Joe Biden’s election to the Presidency.  Make of that what you will. One reason I can’t totally ignore the news is because my husband is a federal employee, and Congress does take actions that may or may not directly affect his job (such as shutting down the government.)

Today I ended up taking a nap instead of doing needed housework. And I woke up with a headache. 

Right now, I will eat dinner and I have asked my husband for a back rub.

Because I am 60.

And I am tired.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Whose side am I on?

In 1931, Harlan County, Kentucky resident Florence Reece, the wife of a United Mine Worker organizer, wrote a song, “Whose Side Are You On?” in response to the violence surrounding the efforts of the Harlan County coal miners to unionize. 

I’m asking that question in the face of the latest conflict in the Middle East.

My husband and I took a 10-day vacation and just got back Monday. We left on the day the horrible news broke of the attack on Israel from the Hamas-controlled Gaza Strip. 

Since then, the news I’ve gotten has been mostly through the alerts on my phone. 

So whose side am I on? 

Should I be on the side of Israel? After all, the Jews are “God’s Chosen People.” And we are asked to “pray for the peace of Jerusalem” (Psalm 122:6). 

Should I be on the side of Hamas and the Palestinians in the area? After all, Israel has occupied Palestinian territories, and they have imposed a blockade on the border with Gaza.

For me, right now I can’t say I’m totally on one side or totally on the other. 

Jews have suffered terribly throughout history, and what I just wrote is an understatement. Go back to the Old Testament, and you will see their slavery in Egypt, their near-massacre in the book of Esther, their exile into Babylon and their return. 

From history, you will see the story of the Maccabees, who fought for Jewish freedom; and you will also see the destruction of the Temple in 70 A.D. 

The history of the Jewish people has, too often, been intertwined with violence and persecution. 

I do know that the modern state of Israel was formed in 1948.

I do know there are those who don’t believe in “Israel’s right to exist.” 

But I’m not Jewish, nor am I Palestinian. I don’t live there. I’m worried that if I open my mouth in support of one government versus another, I will show my ignorance of what’s led to this current conflict. 

Florence Reece asked, “Whose side are you on?”

I’m on the side of the people who had no say in this current conflict. 

I’m on the side of the Israelis who are enduring yet another conflict, another war (which Israel has declared on Hamas), missile attacks, bombings, and other weapons of battle. 

I’m on the side of the Palestinians who are suffering the effects of a blockade: no power, water, or ways to get food in. 

I’m on the side of those kidnapped and taken to Gaza against their will. 

There are so many who suffer during war.  Too many. 

And while the politicians run their mouths and the generals plot their strategies, and foot soldiers - whether they are enlisted in an army or swear allegiance to a terrorist group - the people who just want to live a normal life, who want to go to the grocery store without fear of being bombed, want to go to synagogue, or to church, or even to visit a friend without fear of a bomb or a missile strike; they are the ones that pay the price. 

I need to do more reading and listening to understand better why so much is going on in Israel. 

But I think I’m safe in saying that I’m on the side of the people who just want to live their lives in peace. 

For now, that is my answer to Florence Reece’s question.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.