The most important thing

"Dad molested me when I was a kid."

Those are hard words for anyone to say, hard words for anyone to hear.

When preacher Jimmy Hinton heard those words, they punched him in the gut.

Because the person who said those words, Alex Howlett, was Jimmy Hinton's sister.

So when Alex said, "Dad molested me," she was saying that it was their father, Church of Christ pastor John Hinton, who'd preached for the Somerset Church of Christ in Pennsylvania for 27 years, who'd done it.

Jimmy Hinton did two things.

First, he told Alex, "I believe you."

Second, he reported his father to the police. 

That report prompted an investigation which resulted in John Hinton pleading guilty to the sexual assault of four girls, ages four to seven.  John Hinton is now in the Rockville State Prison, serving a 30- to 60-year sentence. 

Contrast this with an incident in the Uniontown Church of Christ in Uniontown, Pennsylvania.

When a judge sentenced volunteer youth minister Clyde Brothers on charges of "corruption of minors and indecent exposure", part of his ruling was to order Brothers not to attend the church "until and unless there is a signed waiver of this provision . . .by the governing authority of the said Church."

Soon after, the elders met to consider granting that waiver and to allow Brothers to continue worshiping with the congregation.

A mother of one of the victims told the Christian Chronicle, "It's almost like Clyde is more important than the victims are."

(The judge's decision was reversed on appeal due to the fact that the statutes of limitations had run out.)

Les Ferguson, pastor for the Lake Harbor Church of Christ in Mississippi, is tragically familiar with the subject of sexual abuse.  A member of his former congregation, the Orange Grove Church of Christ in Gulfport, Mississippi, offered to babysit Les' son Cole once a week.  Cole was severely disabled, and Les' wife Karen badly needed the break.  

The member used that time to rape Cole, and he threatened Cole with death if he told.  

Cole eventually did tell, and Les and Karen reported the predator to the police.  The man was arrested, released on bail, and while out on bail, he murdered Karen and Cole before committing suicide.

And just last week, a Church of Christ minister in the Sarasota, Florida area -- a registered sex offender -- was arrested on charges of possession of child pornography.

I've deliberately picked stories from Churches of Christ because they are my "tribe" of believers.  The news media, over the last several years, has covered the abuse of children by Catholic priests, and more recently, they've covered widespread sexual abuse in Southern Baptist convention churches and in other evangelical churches.  But this is not a problem that exists only in "denominational churches".  Churches of Christ deal with it, also.  We are no different. 

I grow weary of the continual reports of sexual abuse among people who claim to be Christians.  Jimmy Hinton grew up admiring his preacher father, and it was because of him that Jimmy, himself, entered the ministry.  Christians tend to be trusting of other people who claim to be Christians.  We love a good repentance story and we love a good story of forgiveness.  God does forgive.  People do repent and change and stay changed. 

On the other hand, sexual abuse is a crime that stays with the victim for life.  I don't think we appreciate just how shattering the crime of sexual abuse is.  Too many of us treat it as a "sin" and tell the victim, "the Bible says you must forgive," and demand immediate forgiveness.  I don't hear the same emphasis on telling the offender "you must repent and prove your repentance by your deeds".

Jimmy Hinton still preaches.  He also is an advocate for victims of sexual assault and consults with church leaders on the topic of abuse. 

Alex Howlett no longer goes to church.  She said in an interview, "I don't like the idea of God as a fatherly thing.  If that's who He is He wasn't there for me.  If my dad was supposed to be someone who was spreading His word -- that's not the case at all."

None of the victims from the Uniontown Church of Christ remain in church.  One victim is in jail, and two of them have committed suicide.

Les Ferguson has remarried, and he preaches, but he is still without his first wife and his son.

(Snark alert here.)

But go ahead, let's keep arguing about instrumental music, and whether or not women can preach, and whether or not we can have kitchens in a church building, and whether or not it's a sin to turn in your contribution to the church early because you're going to be out of town on Sunday.

Because we all know that we are saved by the five-step plan of salvation in order to perform the five acts of worship -- preaching/teaching, singing, prayer, taking up of a collection, and taking the Lord's Supper -- on Sunday, and only on Sunday.

After all, that's the most important thing.

Isn't it?

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Why did it take so long?

It took 158 women and 20 years to stop Larry Nassar.

Why did it take so long?

Why were the complaints and concerns of so many girls turned aside?

Why were they not listened to?

Why were they not taken seriously?

Why, in gymnastics especially, is there such a culture of silence around abuse?

Why is verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse tolerated in our locker rooms, in our churches, and in our schools?

Why are victims blamed when they speak up?

Why are victims told that "you need to ignore it" or "you need to stand up for yourself" or asked "why did you let them treat you that way"?

Why are victims told that "you need to forgive and let go of your anger" when a perp says, "I'm sorry," with no sign of repentance?

Why is the burden always placed on the victim?

Why are the perps never asked, "Why did you do this in the first place?

Maybe the answers to those questions are exactly why it took 158 women and 20 years to bring down just one abuser.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Too high a price

Nearly 150 women have asked to speak at the sentencing hearing of Dr. Larry Nassar, a former Olympic team doctor who pled guilty to a number of counts of sexual assault. 

Over 20 years as a team doctor at Michigan State University and also as a doctor to the United States women's gymnastics team, he sexually assaulted women under the guise of medical treatment.

(Warning:  The following sentences contain descriptions of sexual assault.)

When female athletes would visit Larry Nassar for treatment, he would often digitally penetrate them with ungloved fingers. 

Translation:  He stuck his ungloved fingers into a girl's vagina for the sole purpose of his own sexual gratification, and he did it while explaining that it was a type of medical procedure.

He did it when he was alone with them in his office.  He did it even when others were present.  He even did it in the presence of SOME PARENTS. 

(End of description)

 (This particular procedure is sometimes used with women experiencing pelvic pain.  I've had it done.  However, the person doing it was a woman, she used gloves, and explained what it was she was doing while she was doing it.)

When the girls complained, they were either told to be quiet, or they weren't taken seriously.  One victim, Kyle Stephens, even shared how, when she told her parents, they didn't believe her, and even took her back to Nassar to make her apologize to him.  It took years before her parents finally believed her.

The message they got was very clear:  Larry Nassar's reputation was more important than their well-being. 

This week, Larry Nassar's victims are finally getting a sliver of justice. 

They are coming forward, one by one, and they are detailing exactly what happened to them.

When Larry Nassar complained that listening to his victims was a form of mental cruelty, the judge listened, and then responded that he might find it harsh, but nothing was as harsh as what his victims had endured at his hands.

Not only has Kyle Stephens spoken, so has Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman.  She gave a scathing rebuke to Nassar which was reprinted the next day in the New York Times.

Raisman is not the only Olympic gymnast stating she was abused by Nassar.  Simone Biles, Gabby Douglas, Jordyn Wieber, McKayla Maroney, and others have all stated they were abused.  And serious questions about the role of the United States Olympic Committee and USA Gymnastics have arisen.  Apparently, carting home Olympic gold was more important to both organizations than the sexual abuse of their athletes.

I'm tired.  I'm tired of seeing the same song, first, second, third, fourth, and fifth verses:  Men using their power to sexually abuse women, and people stand around and do nothing.  Women aren't believed, they're told to shut up, and the culture around them stacks the deck against them. 

The United States Olympic Committee should refuse to field an Olympic women's gymnastics team until and unless USA Gymnastics cleans house, now, and puts policies in place where the number one priority is protection of the athlete.  If it means that there will be no women's gymnastics team at the next Olympics, well . . . so be it. 

When you are an athlete who has been abused, and the message given you is that you have to put up with it in the name of trophies, ribbons, and Olympic gold medals . . . that is too high a price to pay.

Simone Biles, Gabby Douglas, Aly Raisman, McKayla Maroney, Jordyn Wieber paid too high a price for Olympic glory.  The gold medals that hung around their necks are not worth the physical and emotional suffering that they have had to endure. 

The other 100+ women who have spoken against Nassar have also paid too high a price for any athletic accomplishment that they may have achieved. 

It needs to stop.

I don't know how, but this abuse needs to stop.

The price is just too high.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.