Twinkle, twinkle, wash your hands

"OMG, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE!!!!!"

There, now that I have gotten that out of my system . . .

Was it only a month ago that I went to the doc for my regular checkup and we had a quick conversation about "no, I haven't been to China lately, so I don't need to worry about getting sick with this new coronavirus"?

How quickly things can change!

I went to Walmart on Thursday, after a visit to the chiropractor, and saw with my own eyes the gaps in shelves that people had been talking about.

The gaps existed with:

• rubbing alcohol
• Clorox wipes
• toilet paper
• probiotics
• hand sanitizer
• liquid soap
• disposable gloves

.... and, believe it or not . . . Family planning!!


Now, I've read where people are using condoms in place of gloves (I have this picture of a weird version of Edward Scissorhands) but I also suspect that some people are taking precautions to guard against a nine-month-from-now baby boomlet of infants bearing names with variants of "Corona". 

(Side note:  I did the math a few years back and as a result, I'm convinced that I owe my conception to a flood in March, 1963.  Hey, when you're cooped up in the house, you gotta pass the time somehow!)

I had a "conversation" with an Asian man who ended up using his phone to translate what I was saying to him.  I was trying to explain to him that getting the last bottle of hand sanitizer couldn't hurt and it could help.  Not sure if his phone properly translated what I was trying to say. 

I didn't see anyone fighting over toilet paper, like they recently did in Sydney, Australia.  Then again, I use Amazon Subscribe and Save to get mine because I got tired of running to the store all the time. 

The cause of this hysteria is now officially known as COVID-19, the name given to this tiny mite of illness by the World Health Organization.  For those of you who, like I was, are curious as to where the name came from, it stands for COrona VIrus Disease 2019.  
Currently, according to Worldometers.info, which is frequently updated, there are 105,965 cases worldwide.  3,569 people have died.  58,628 people have recovered.  The number of people ill number around the population of Tallahassee, Florida, with the majority of them recovering.

So why the freak-out?  To borrow a Victoria Justice song, why are we freaking the freak out?

One, because this is a new virus.  We have no idea how it works.

Two, we have no vaccine.

Three, because it is now officially on all continents with the exception of Antarctica, which makes this disease a pandemic. 

Four, because people have died from this disease.

So how do we keep from getting sick? 

Well, the number one way is to practice good hygiene, which means, wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.   The CDC recommends 20 seconds of good handwashing whenever necessary.

Twenty seconds is enough time to sing "Happy Birthday To You" twice, or "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" once.  So for about the last week or so, every time I've gone to the bathroom, afterwards, I've  mentally hummed "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" while I'm doing the following:

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are."  (Begin the song only after you have wet your hands and lathered with soap.  Then rub palms together while humming the first line of Twinkle.)

"Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky" (Pretend you're wringing your hands over the coronavirus or whatever disaster you want to panic about.)

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are."  (Lace fingers together and rub.) 

Twenty seconds of handwashing is now complete.

Depending on what mood I'm in, I may mentally hum "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat", a parody song from Alice in Wonderland.  And at least one Twitter thread has listed 20-second portions of songs you can wash to just in case you get bored with Twinkle, Twinkle or Happy Birthday. 

I admit to being concerned about this illness.  There are five confirmed cases in the metro Atlanta area and one possible one in my county.  And I'm hearing daily about new cases popping up in different states.  But the absolute worst thing in the world I can do is panic. 

So, if you hear someone screaming about, "OMG, Amazon is out of N95 masks, CVS is out of rubbing alcohol, Kroger's out of bleach, and Walmart's out of toilet paper!  WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIEEEE!!!!"  just smile, pat the person on the head, and say, "Dude.  Chillax.  Here's some soap.  Go wash your hands." 

Then hand them a loop recording of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.