Uncomfortably numb

Thirty-one people were victims of mass shootings in the United States over this weekend. 

Of those 31 people, 12 died.

On Saturday, May 14, in Buffalo, New York, 13 people were shot in a supermarket. Ten died. The shooter is in custody, and his alleged motive is something called "replacement theory", meaning, whites are being "replaced" by other ethnic groups. He allegedly (I am using the term "allegedy" for the same reason news outlets due; a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty) drove 200 miles to commit this crime, and he, allegedly, deliberately chose Black people to shoot.  One of those Black people was a security guard, a "good guy with a gun" who shot at the alleged perp; the perp, however, was dressed in body armor and the guard could not wound or kill him.  

Sunday, May 15, was even deadlier.

Five people in Houston were shot at an open-air flea market. Two of them died. The Microsoft News article I linked to said that all five of the people apparently knew each other, that the shooting resulted from an "altercation," and there were at least two guns involved. 

In other words, it sounds like all these people had a disagreement that escalated and someone started shooting.  No innocent bystanders, according to the MSN article, were hurt. But with two guns involved, what are the odds that more people could have been hurt? Could this have had a larger death toll than the shooting in Buffalo?

Next, six people were shot at a church gathering in Laguna Woods, California. One person died. By the time the police arrived, a group of churchgoers had detained and hog-tied the alleged shooter with an extension cord. I give these people props for their bravery and their creativity. And I sit here and think, this is a church. A church, a house of worship where people come to praise God and learn about Him. 

I learned about the last one this morning:  seven people shot in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. News reports have said that these were separate shootings across the area that were all connected. The gunman or gunmen, at this writing, is/are not in custody. 

Thirty-one people.

When I saw the alerts of the shooting in Buffalo, I mentally gasped . . . and then I turned numb. We've had so many mass shootings in the last several years that I'm having trouble calling up shock and outrage for all of them. 

It was the shooting in Laguna Beach that got me angry . . . and then I wanted to cry. 

I've become numb, and I'm uncomfortable with it. 

And I'm also angry, sad, depressed, powerless . . . whatever negative emotion you can put on it.

I go to a church. I have thought about what I would do if someone came into my church and started shooting. I've especially thought about how I would get to my son to protect him. (Yes, he's 23, and although he's autistic, he could probably take care of himself . . . but I am still his mother and my "mom genes" would kick in in that sort of situation.) 

My son works at a supermarket. What would happen if someone came in and decided to start shooting? I will tell my son the three words, "run, hide, fight". First, run; if you can't run, hide, and as a last resort, fight.

There's no place safe anymore, not the open area, not churches, not shopping malls or supermarkets, and not even your own home (think of home invasions). 

Eventually, you can't deal with all of it, and you become numb. You can't feel for everything and everyone, and you develop numbness and empathy fatigue. 

What do we do? I ask. God is there, yes; I believe He will take care of us, but it's also easy to ask, where was God when . . . (fill in the blank with your particular disaster) happened? 

Are more laws the answer?

More police?

More good guys with guns? 

Better mental health care? 

I don't know. I absolutely don't know. 

I just know that I'm turning numb.

And I'm uncomfortable with it.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.