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Monday, April 2, 2018

So, is your toaster listening?

Last night, I got asked if I had a history of schizophrenia or if I'd been hearing voices where I shouldn't be.

After I finished chuckling, I responded with, no, no history there. 

I wrote this blog entry some time back about hearing what I thought was a radio station through my CPAP.  It's just barely loud enough for me to make out something.  I don't know if this is an audio version of a TV test pattern; what I hear is a voice saying/singing "W-A-Y-B, W-C-K-G, W-O-I-C, W-O-I-hear, W-O-I-smell, W-O-I-taste, W-O-I-touch," and then back to, "W-A-Y-B . . ." 

The person who asked me about hearing voices explained that they were in the mental health field and often had to ask that question.  They then said, it's hard to tell people that your toaster isn't listening to you without them getting offended.

I understood. 

It then occurred to me that in this day and age of Alexa and Google Home, there could actually come a day when your toaster could very well BE listening to you!  I can just see it now:  "Alexa, make my toast."  "Unthaw my bread."  "Unthaw my waffle."  (Alexa's response after that last job is done:  "Hey!  Leggo my Eggo!")

(Note:  I don't intend to make fun of people who do have schizophrenia or other mental illness.  Mental illness is no laughing matter.  I deal with depression and OCD, and neither of them are funny.  I do, however, use humor to deal with both conditions.)

So, it's back to doing a little bit of research on how, if at all, a CPAP can pick up voices or radio waves. 

In the meantime, I'll keep an eye--er, ear out for any signs that my toaster is listening.

And if the day the comes when I need to replace the toaster and it says, "I'm sorry, Tina, I can't let you do that," I will know my goose is cooked--er, toasted.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

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