Vince and Patty

I mainly knew Vince Gill as "Amy Grant's second husband" until I watched Ken Burns' Country Music last fall.  

Now I know him as a musician and the writer/performer of one of the most heartfelt songs in country music.  

When Vince learned of the death of country singer Keith Whitley, he started composing a song as a tribute to him.  Vince didn't finish it until the sudden death of his brother Bob in 1993.  

"Go Rest High On That Mountain" is now one of the most requested songs to be played at funerals.  In it, Vince Gill captures the grief, pain, and hope that we experience at the death of a loved one.

He and country singer Patty Loveless played this song in 2013, at George Jones' funeral.  I saw this performance as part of the Country Music series, and I defy anyone to watch this and not come away deeply moved at the very least:

For me, what made this performance so powerful was, one, Vince Gill's honest, genuine grief.  George Jones was not only a legendary performer, he was a friend of both Vince Gill and Patty Loveless, one who believed in both of them and supported them.

The other thing that hit me?

Patty Loveless stepped up and carried the song when she saw that Vince could not do it.  That is the mark of a true professional.

She also stepped over and touched his shoulder while Vince played the guitar, his way of getting himself under control so he could finish.  

What you see in this video are two professional people, doing a performance they were asked to do, as a tribute to one of the greats in their field, and pulling it off not only as professionals but as the human beings they are.  Could you do that?  Could you keep going in the middle of grief and tears and not walk off stage, saying, "I can't do it."  Could you hold yourself together, knowing that it was something you had to get through?  Or wanted to get through to honor someone you loved?

Vince did it, but he could not have done it without Patty.

There's a symmetry between musicians when they work together long enough.  They know what to do when someone in the band hits an A flat instead of a C natural.  They know what to do when someone forgets a lyric or a word to a lyric, or when they may start singing one song when they meant to do another.

They know how to handle the adrenaline rush, when the crowd is clapping, cheering, dancing in the aisles or the mosh pit.

And they know how to handle the grief when one of their own is barely making it through.

That's what Patty Loveless did for Vince Gill.  She knew to step up.  She knew to support him.  

Vince Gill has said that concentrating on the guitar chords helped him to keep playing.  I believe it was also Patty Loveless' hand on his shoulder that kept him going as well.

They made it through, and I would not be surprised if Vince went backstage and cried buckets of tears afterwards.

Vince Gill and Patty Loveless will not be at my funeral.  There will probably not be a live band or a live musician.  My funeral is not going to be celebrated the same way George Jones' was.

I admit, I'm self-absorbed enough to hope that there are at least some people who would cry at my funeral.

But if a Vince Gill is close to breaking down and unable to finish, I hope a Patty Loveless will step up for them so that they can make it through.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.