Ruh-roh, Tina's off her meds . . .

I screwed up.
No, I mean, I royally screwed up.

I've been dealing with a skin rash for a number of months, and my dermatologist suggested a drug washout, meaning, get off of all my meds and see if that helps the rash clear up.

My regular doc doesn't think that's such a good idea, given that I'm on antidepressants and also hormones.

Well . . . I take a particular antidepressant, two pills a day, and figured that maybe I could do a gradual drug washout by going to one pill a day. 

Bad move.
Very, VERY bad move.

I dropped the dose several weeks ago--I'm not sure how many--but I think between that and being sick with the flu about a week ago, that sent me into a very nasty, downward spiral and kicked my OCD into major overdrive.

Last night my BFF messaged me, and when I started screaming at her online, she called me. 

Everything culminated in probably the most spectacular meltdown of my career.  All I can say is that I am very thankful that I have a very understanding BFF.

I am going back on my regular dose of meds, and I see my psychiatrist on Friday for a regular meds check and new prescription. 

The moral of this story is rather obvious:
One, never, never, never, never adjust your meds unless you have a long talk with your doctor first.  Especially if they are antidepressants.
And two, if you have a BFF that starts screaming at you online and you decide to call her, make sure that you have a very large supply of very effective earplugs.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Why did it take so long?

It took 158 women and 20 years to stop Larry Nassar.

Why did it take so long?

Why were the complaints and concerns of so many girls turned aside?

Why were they not listened to?

Why were they not taken seriously?

Why, in gymnastics especially, is there such a culture of silence around abuse?

Why is verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse tolerated in our locker rooms, in our churches, and in our schools?

Why are victims blamed when they speak up?

Why are victims told that "you need to ignore it" or "you need to stand up for yourself" or asked "why did you let them treat you that way"?

Why are victims told that "you need to forgive and let go of your anger" when a perp says, "I'm sorry," with no sign of repentance?

Why is the burden always placed on the victim?

Why are the perps never asked, "Why did you do this in the first place?

Maybe the answers to those questions are exactly why it took 158 women and 20 years to bring down just one abuser.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

So how come Congress gets paid?

"How come Congress gets paid during the shutdown?  They're the ones that caused it in the first place, so they shouldn't get paid!"

I feel your pain.  And I agree with you. 

However, this article in the Washington Post explains why Congress still gets paid during a shutdown, while other federal workers don't.

According to the Post article, "the government shutdown only affects agencies and employees that are funded through annual appropriations. But that doesn't apply to members of Congress. Salaries for members of the House and Senate are written into permanent law. (Members in both chambers currently make $174,000 a year.) That's why politicians get paid even in the event that Congress can't agree on a bill to fund the government."

So one of the reasons Congress still gets paid is due to permanent law.
Another reason is the 27th Amendment to the Constitution.  That amendment, part of the Constitution since 1992, "specifically says that the salaries of the House and Senate can't be altered until the start of a new term. The idea was to prevent members of Congress from handing themselves a raise before an election took place."

At least one member of Congress, Rep. Gary Peters of Michigan, is donating his salary to charity during the shutdown.  Two Senators, Barbara Boxer and Bob Casey, have a bill that would prevent Congress from getting paid during a shutdown.

I agree with a Facebook friend who says it's shameful that Congress can still draw a paycheck while other federal employees can't.  But it's in the law and in the Constitution.  So until both of those change, Congress still gets paid.

Unfortunately.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Coping during a shutdown

The children -- er, Congress -- can't play nicely with each other, a lesson they should have learned back in preschool.  So us Americans have to suffer the consequences.

As of midnight on Saturday, the federal government is in a partial shutdown.  One of the casualties is my husband, who works for the IRS.

At the moment, we have money in the bank and plenty of food.  I've applied for a forebearance on my student loans and I'm looking to see what other expenses I can cut. 

I've also been sick with the flu.  I emailed the woman I proof for and said that as of tomorrow, I can finally proof again.  I also told her that I need all the work I can get. 

Frank and I will take a look at our assets and liabilities, and between us, we'll figure out a way to get through this.  We went through something similar back in 2013, and we made it through.  I believe we'll make it through again.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Too high a price

Nearly 150 women have asked to speak at the sentencing hearing of Dr. Larry Nassar, a former Olympic team doctor who pled guilty to a number of counts of sexual assault. 

Over 20 years as a team doctor at Michigan State University and also as a doctor to the United States women's gymnastics team, he sexually assaulted women under the guise of medical treatment.

(Warning:  The following sentences contain descriptions of sexual assault.)

When female athletes would visit Larry Nassar for treatment, he would often digitally penetrate them with ungloved fingers. 

Translation:  He stuck his ungloved fingers into a girl's vagina for the sole purpose of his own sexual gratification, and he did it while explaining that it was a type of medical procedure.

He did it when he was alone with them in his office.  He did it even when others were present.  He even did it in the presence of SOME PARENTS. 

(End of description)

 (This particular procedure is sometimes used with women experiencing pelvic pain.  I've had it done.  However, the person doing it was a woman, she used gloves, and explained what it was she was doing while she was doing it.)

When the girls complained, they were either told to be quiet, or they weren't taken seriously.  One victim, Kyle Stephens, even shared how, when she told her parents, they didn't believe her, and even took her back to Nassar to make her apologize to him.  It took years before her parents finally believed her.

The message they got was very clear:  Larry Nassar's reputation was more important than their well-being. 

This week, Larry Nassar's victims are finally getting a sliver of justice. 

They are coming forward, one by one, and they are detailing exactly what happened to them.

When Larry Nassar complained that listening to his victims was a form of mental cruelty, the judge listened, and then responded that he might find it harsh, but nothing was as harsh as what his victims had endured at his hands.

Not only has Kyle Stephens spoken, so has Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman.  She gave a scathing rebuke to Nassar which was reprinted the next day in the New York Times.

Raisman is not the only Olympic gymnast stating she was abused by Nassar.  Simone Biles, Gabby Douglas, Jordyn Wieber, McKayla Maroney, and others have all stated they were abused.  And serious questions about the role of the United States Olympic Committee and USA Gymnastics have arisen.  Apparently, carting home Olympic gold was more important to both organizations than the sexual abuse of their athletes.

I'm tired.  I'm tired of seeing the same song, first, second, third, fourth, and fifth verses:  Men using their power to sexually abuse women, and people stand around and do nothing.  Women aren't believed, they're told to shut up, and the culture around them stacks the deck against them. 

The United States Olympic Committee should refuse to field an Olympic women's gymnastics team until and unless USA Gymnastics cleans house, now, and puts policies in place where the number one priority is protection of the athlete.  If it means that there will be no women's gymnastics team at the next Olympics, well . . . so be it. 

When you are an athlete who has been abused, and the message given you is that you have to put up with it in the name of trophies, ribbons, and Olympic gold medals . . . that is too high a price to pay.

Simone Biles, Gabby Douglas, Aly Raisman, McKayla Maroney, Jordyn Wieber paid too high a price for Olympic glory.  The gold medals that hung around their necks are not worth the physical and emotional suffering that they have had to endure. 

The other 100+ women who have spoken against Nassar have also paid too high a price for any athletic accomplishment that they may have achieved. 

It needs to stop.

I don't know how, but this abuse needs to stop.

The price is just too high.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

Impossible . . .

I have come to the conclusion that it's impossible to figure out anymore who's lying and who's telling the truth. 

President Trump's last comments, about "poophole" countries, just takes the cake.

He denies he said it.

Others say he did.

Others don't remember it.

They can't all be right.

So who is?

And don't get me started on the Bible . . . I can pick it up and do a straight reading, but then you have original Greek, original Aramaic, original Hebrew, cultural context, textual context, possible translator bias . . .

Everyone believes they are right and they "have a verse" to prove it.

There is no such thing as "objective news" anymore.  People take facts, twist them to prove their point, and then present them as truth. 

I wrote in my journal the other day, I don't know what to believe anymore. 

And I don't think it's possible to know, either.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.

No, I don't trust them . . .

I no longer trust male leaders in either the evangelical church or conservative politics.  If they don't abuse people, they support those who do.

When I put that statement out on Facebook a while back, I was told that I was "painting with a broad brush".  But it's very hard not to paint with a broad brush when you see the same story over and over and over, with variations on the same theme of sexual sin. 

The Roy Moore story is self-explanatory, and I won't go any further into its sordid details. 

In the evangelical church, you have several prominent leaders who have fallen prey to sexual sin.  I refer you to this link from an excellent blog which covers issues of abuse in the church.

The latest in the bunch?  Andy Savage, a pastor in Memphis, Tennessee, whose sexual assault of a 17-year-old member of his youth group just went public. 

Bloggers Dee Parsons and Wanda (Deb) Martin published this story last week on their blog, The Wartburg Watch.  (Warning:  There is graphic, possible triggering content in this story and a graphic description of sexual activity in my paragraphs below.)

In the early spring of 1998, when Jules Woodson was 17, she was a member of the youth group at Woodlands Parkway Baptist Church (now known as StoneBridge Church) in The Woodlands, Texas (a suburb of Houston).  Andy Savage was 23 and her youth minister.

One evening, he offered to drive her home from youth group.  But when he drove past the turnoff he was supposed to take to bring her home, she asked what he was doing and he said something like, "you'll see".

She thought he was taking her for ice cream.

Instead, he drove her to a deserted, heavily wooded area, unzipped his pants, pulled out his penis, and told her to perform oral sex on him.  She was scared and embarrassed, but she did as she was told.  He then asked her to unbutton her shirt.  She did.  He touched her breasts both over and under her bra.

And then he jumped out of the truck, raced over to her side, and started saying, "What I have done?  I'm so sorry.  Jules, you can't tell anyone.  You have to take this to the grave with you."

He took her home after that.

She ended up telling her senior pastor, Larry Cotton. 

The first question he asked was, "So you're telling me you participated?"

Her heart sank to the floor, and she felt a wave of shame and guilt.

Except for confiding in members of her female discipleship group, she told no one until recently, when a friend asked her what had happened back then. 

Andy Savage is now a pastor at Highpoint Church Memphis.  This past Sunday, he publicly admitted to a "sexual incident" that happened 20 years ago. 

The result?

His congregation gave him a standing ovation.

Andy Savage committed a crime.  Because the statute of limitations has run out, he will never be held legally accountable for what he did to Jules Woodson.  This was not a "sexual incident" where both parties were willing participants.  This was a crime, sexual assault, that was committed against a teenage girl.  This was not a "mistake" or just simply a "sin" that deserved a standing ovation for Savages' "repentance".  This was a crime.

For anyone who asks, why didn't she report it?  She did.  She told her senior pastor. 

Why didn't she go to the police?  Well, in many churches, people are encouraged--read "told"--to handle such problems in-house and NOT go to the police.  In fact, several years ago, when a Church of Christ minister and his wife discovered that their son had been raped by a church member, they did go to the police--and some members of their congregation wanted to know why they couldn't "work it out" with a fellow brother in Christ.  (That "fellow brother in Christ" ended up murdering the minister's wife and child.)

Since this story broke, reaction has been swift.  Bethany House Publishers canceled a book that Savage wrote on marriage.  KLOVE, the Christian broadcasting group, dropped him from a cruise he was scheduled to participate in.  And the national news has picked up Jules Woodson's story. 

If this were just an isolated incident of one minister, I wouldn't be so angry.  But this story comes in the midst of #metoo allegations from Hollywood and from politics.  It also comes after reading "same song, second, third, fourth, etc." verse from so many who are considered leaders in evangelical culture. 

So, to those who say that I paint with a broad brush, I'll just give you the same answer I gave at the beginning of this article:

No, I don't trust them.

Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.