I've had a couple of bad dreams the last couple of nights. Last night's (or in reality, this morning's dream because I had it after I dozed back off) dream was especially upsetting so I am not going to go into details.
What's interesting, though, is that in both dreams, I was either standing up for myself or figuring a way out of the situation.
I can say that in the less upsetting dream, I was standing up to a bully and telling him that if he hit me again, I was going to go to our principal.
I'd like to think that that shows some internal growth on my part, that my subconscious is finally saying that it's okay for me to stand up for myself when I am being treated badly. Not that I would demand special treatment at the top of my lungs (unless it were special circumstances, like if I were bleeding or my son were bleeding), but to just simply say, "This behavior is unacceptable and if you continue doing it, there will be consequences."
I'm nearly sixty and I do struggle at times with the ghosts of childhood bullies past. Throw in some good old spiritual abuse in college, with a dose of, "if you fight back, you will be the one who gets in trouble while the bullies get off scot free," and yeah, it makes sense that a) I would not fight back, and b) that I would definitely deal with the aftereffects of bullying and abuse.
But I'd like to think that if I'm dreaming about fighting back, maybe I'm being told, "Look, you are allowed to tell people when something is bugging you."
That's still very hard for me to do. And while my dreams are a good window into my subconscious, and they *might* provide a guide to my reality, I still have to live in that reality. Which means I can't totally rely on dreams. I still need God, a good therapist, and good friends.
Just my .04, adjusted for inflation.
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